Utterances

A Toast

2011-01-01T09:18:00.000-08:00

To friends and family here and gone

And to all of you

Happy New Year

Cookie Overload

2010-12-13T09:13:00.000-08:00

It happens every year. For the past 19 years.

But I can't remember ever having this kind of haul...

We baked...

Two...

HUNDRED

and twelve DOZEN cookies!

Yeah, that happened.

No pictures of the bakers this year. We were kinda tired afterwards.

You understand.

The View

2010-12-06T09:24:00.000-08:00

This is where I've been.

Stopped.

My blinker may be on but I'm unsure if that's the way I want to go.

Cars whizz by, intent on their destinations.

Knowing where they are going.

Not me.

I'm blinded by indecision and apathy.

I'm waiting for the light to change...

Nine years? No way...

2010-09-28T07:13:00.000-07:00

I wished so hard for a daughter. I never thought I would get so lucky to have you be her.

2003

You are my Diva Princess.

And you will be a force to be reckoned with in this world.

Happy Birthday (even though I'm a day late).

Maybe next time I'll go for an Un-birthday...

2010-09-01T00:06:00.000-07:00

I've rethought and rewritten this post many times.

How to reflect on being a year older?

I can tell you it is not as cool as it used to be. Remember when you were a kid and you couldn't wait for your birthday to come around so you could officially be that next year older? And there would be presents coming your way and cake and parties...

*sigh* Was I ever that young and carefree?

Not to be Debbie Downer...I love the well-wishes. I love the gifts (holy crap, please don't stop giving me gifts on my birthday!!!) but I don't go out of my way to do awesome things on my birthday.

For my birthday this year, I got to break up arguments between two pre-teens who are so done with having to be in the same house all day every day. And my dog vomited on the floor so I got to clean that up. Oh, the meet and greet at Diva Princess's school was all kinds of fun (not).

Meh.

Another day. No big whoop.

Local Love: Treeroot Espresso and Edibles, Bainbridge Island

2010-08-27T17:52:00.000-07:00

If you know me at all...shoot! If you are only slightly aware of me, you will know that I enjoy THE COFFEE.
What is not to love?! It's like those magic potions you read about in stories.
Attention waning...fatigue rising...energy...non-existent...
Coffee.
The clouds part, the angels sing and the desire to punch song birds in the throat has subsided.

My summer was consumed by traveling back and forth to Bainbridge Island for swim lessons. I was lucky if I even got the kids to the pool on time. So how in the world did I fulfill my caffeine needs?
Treeroot Espresso and Edibles!!
It's a mobile espresso truck! I'm sorry but why aren't more of these out there?

See that cup there? Just one of the many drinks I consumed out of this truck this summer...

Let me tell you a bit about the awesomeness of Treeroot Espresso. First and foremost, owner and operator Amy.

She is not only the kind of barista you want making your drink but when people refer to someone as "good people", they definitely have Amy in mind. Every morning that I showed up to order my drink, she always asked about my day, no matter how many other people were in line (and there were days when she was hopping in that truck). She made me feel like an instant friend and...a big 'and' here because this is so impressive to me, she made a point of learning my name and remembering it!

You say you have a barista that you like? You say that you are happy just hitting up the Starbucks?
Well, are those places mobile?
Do they provide locally made edibles?
Do they help the environment?!

Oh yeah. Not only does Treeroot provide yummy cookies and muffins (some are even vegan and gluten-free!) and excellent beverages (have I mentioned she uses a local roaster and the beans are organic?) but the cups are compostable!! And so are the lids! There is minimal packaging on the food items and they offset their carbon emissions through TerraPass! Amy also sells this excellent commuter mug that is BPA-free and the lid comes apart for easy cleaning. I must say I love my new commuter mug so much...I would have a picture of it but I use it so much that it is currently in need of a wash...
Amy told me that it was very important to her to not just provide good coffee and great service but to provide local products whenever possible.
Just so we are clear...an espresso truck that can be where you are on Bainbridge Island...that provides service with a smile...with locally provided coffee and treats...all the while being environmentally friendly.
Can this be any more perfect?

Excuse me, Dumblond, but if she's in a truck, how do I know where to go?
Well, I'll tell you. Amy has a schedule posted on her website.
You want more up-to-the-minute whereabouts? Follow her on twitter! She tells you where she's going!
If you are a Bainbridge Island resident, or if you are like me and you find yourself driving across the bridge frequently, give Amy and her wonderful truck a visit. Her drinks are great, her smile is wonderful and you'll be giving the local economy and the environment a boost!

***Treeroot Espresso and Edibles in no way compensated me for this write-up. This was just my way of saying thank you to Amy for her wonderful company this summer.***

Epically Lazy

2010-07-21T09:46:00.000-07:00

Yep. I just came up with that.
I'm pretty sure it's going to catch on.
And I'm going to put it on a T-shirt and become rich.
If only...

This post brought to you by a parrot on a road trip.

I could regale you all with stories of the fabulous adventures I have been on. The epic journeys that have kept me from making my presence felt on The Web That Is Inter.

The Drama!

The Thrills!

The Chills!

And all in glorious 3-D!!!

Hahaha. I'm so clever I amuse myself.

Sadly, no. None of this was the case.

Not to say that I have not been having some good times...but nothing that should have prevented me from sharing those experiences with you, My Loyal But Oh So Few Followers.

You ever have one of those days that you just don't feel like doing anything?

That's been pretty much my consistent mood for the past few months. Nothing has been accomplished around here.

Except video games.

And TV.

I wonder if there is a correlation between my lack of motivation and activity and my recent low consumption of coffee?

Hmmm...

I was planning on seeing this anyway

2010-05-17T11:16:00.000-07:00

I enjoyed the other Resident Evil movies (the first one is not my favorite...) but this new trailer makes it a must see.

A word to my mother

2010-05-09T18:35:00.000-07:00

Thanks.

I wear blue for him

2010-04-02T10:39:00.000-07:00

My oldest nephew

I would like to introduce you to my nephew.

He is only two days older than Diva Princess.

He gave me Official Aunt status for the first time.

He gives awesome hugs.

He is an adorable little boy that I wish I could see more often than I do.

And he just happens to have autism.

My sister in law put up a great post about him. Go give it a read.

April is Autism Awareness Month. Today is World Autism Awareness Day.

I'm wearing blue for you, buddy.

Sure...no pressure

2010-04-02T00:03:00.000-07:00

I would like to start this month off by saying what a complete pain in the ass little brothers are...
This goes out to my two youngest brothers.
I hate you guys...
And this counts for April 1st.

This will brighten up your Monday

2010-03-08T12:24:00.000-08:00

Thank you to my husband Paul for sharing this with me. This made me laugh so hard.

It's so funny because it's so true.

The Kiddos and The Classics

2010-03-03T17:36:00.000-08:00

Hello.
Do you know me?
I am a movie fan.
My DVD collection is outgrowing my storage capacity...and yet, I will continue to buy more.
I don't get out to the theatre as much as I would like to but hopefully that will change with my children getting older. I dislike going to see a movie by myself but I'm thinking I need to get over that so I can get caught up on some of the newer releases.
One of my favorite things to do is to sit down with my kids and watch movies that I loved as a kid.
As a result, certain obsessions have taken hold.
Bubba Dude loves the Back to the Future trilogy.

"You built a time machine...out of a DeLorean?!"

"Loves" may not be the correct word for how deep his feelings go for these films. Any road trip we take, he has to bring those DVDs. Unfortunately, the last time we drove down to visit family in Oregon, he left one of his discs down there...and has not felt like watching any movies since.
Diva Princess has latched onto The Goonies.

"Don't say that. Never say that. Goonies never say die!"

I watched this movie so many times as a kid, by the time I was in fourth grade, I could recite the movie word.for.word. Complete with sound effects and score.
My daughter is very quickly following in my footsteps in this regard. She never gets tired of it! A sure fire way to blow her mind is to remind her that the same actor who played Mikey also played Samwise Gamgee in Lord of the Rings.
Both of The Kiddos really enjoy Ghostbusters.

"Listen...do you smell something?"

I just watched that the other night with them.
They were complaining about "the graphics". I assumed they were not appreciative of the CGI circa 1984. I tried to explain that back then, this was pretty awesome.
And then I recoiled when I realized how much I sounded like my dad, who exposed me to his childhood favorites like The 7th Voyage of Sinbad, Jason and the Argonauts and Godzilla.
It makes me wonder what my kids will be telling their children while watching movies.

"Whoa. Dad, you call this 3D? This sucks!"
"I'll have you know that back in 2010, Avatar was the most cutting edge movie as far as 3D and computer animation go..."
"Whatever Dad. If you need me, I'll be in the 4D capsule watching the Harry Potter reboot."

The Longest Ten Minutes Of My Life

2010-02-27T00:07:00.000-08:00

No one prepares you for it.
I don't think there is anything one can say or do to even try to prepare for it.
The intense emotion that comes with being a parent.
Both of my children have given me great joy.
And great frustration.
I have lost my temper. I have been angry.
I have felt pride.
And I have loved them every minute of every day of their lives.

But today, I felt, for the first time, absolute fear.

There was a faint knock at my door. I opened it to see a cute little redhead girl who I immediately felt sorry for, having climbed all the way up my driveway in the rain.
"Are you 'Diva Princess's' mom?"
Yes, sweetie but she's not home from school yet.
"Is she okay?"
What...
"They can't find her."
What...?

I tell the cute little redhead good-bye as politely as I can and grab my phone to call the school.
I get the machine.
I try again.
Still the machine.
I try for ten minutes to get someone to answer the damn phone!

During this time I go from relative calm and concern to hyperventilating panic and sheer terror. This is one of those times when a vivid imagination is a curse. Where is my daughter?
There is a part of my brain that is trying to talk me down.
The school would have called if it was a real emergency.
But why aren't they answering the phone?!
It's very likely the little redhead girl was mistaken.
But why did she say THEY can't find her?!
Where the hell is my daughter?!

Tears are streaming down my face. I can barely breathe as I try again and again to call the school.
Finally, an answer.
And all composure leaves me.
WHERE IS MY DAUGHTER?!!!

"It's okay. We found her. She was hiding in the bathroom. She had a bathroom emergency and was too embarassed to come out of the stall. We gave her some clothes and she is on the bus on her way home."

Now I really become a blubbering mess. I thank the nice calm voice on the other line for putting up with my hysterics, hang up the phone and do my best not to pass out from lack of oxygen.
I knew, in a tiny corner of my brain, that I had probably over reacted. I knew that when Paul got home and I told him of this mixup, he would roll his eyes upward and call me a loon (which he did). That still did not keep me from crying for the next few minutes until the bus finally pulled up in front of the house.
There she was.
I called to her.
She came up to me...and I bawled my head off as I hugged her.

And so ended the scariest moment of my life.

Eleven years

2010-02-25T08:53:00.000-08:00

From the moment I first laid eyes on him, he made me smile.

circa 1999

And every day since then.

Happy Birthday, Bubba Dude. I love you. Thanks for letting me be your mom.

It Breaks The Heart

2010-02-09T08:54:00.000-08:00

Last week, my husband and I were thrown for a loop.
A revelation that rocked us to our cores.
And we have come to the heart breaking conclusion that we have failed as parents.
While my husband was playing his newest acquisition, Star Trek Online, Bubba Dude, as is his wont, was perched nearby. I was elsewhere, as is my wont.
All of a sudden, I hear Paul yell.
"What?!"
"NO! Shana! We have failed as parents!"
What the deuce?
I go to investigate. I see my son giggling while my husband is sitting at his desk, with a stricken look on his face.
What happened?
"Our son does not know what a Klingon is."

...
...
...
Excuse me. It's still hard to talk about...
I...*sob* I can't talk about this yet.
Talk amongst yourselves.

My First Review! Games 2 U

2010-01-26T09:37:00.000-08:00

First off, a shout-out and a big thank you to Stacey (the artist formerly known as WM) for extending this invite to myself and The Kiddos. She is way more awesome in person...if that's even possible.

Recently, The Kiddos and I made the long trek to Kent to pay a visit to the good people at Clowns Unlimited to check our their new mobile gaming center, Games 2 U.

The Kiddos are pretty sure they would like to live here.

This setup is so neat. A temperature controlled 25 foot trailer with seating for 16-18 kids (about a dozen adults) with six 52 inch flat screen TVs. Not only are there four screens inside the trailer, each one capable of having a different gaming system hooked up, but there are also two screens on the outside!

Thank goodness the weather held up for Lego Rock Band!

That's six screens. So you could have six different video games, all on different systems (which the company can provide), going at the same time. Or have one showing some cartoons. OR have an epic battle going on one game! The owner Lance told me about a party he had just done with 13 teenagers and Halo. Bubba Dude overheard that and started to drool.
If you check out the link, you will see that not only do they have the awesome game trailer but Laser Tag! Human Hamster Balls! Seriously, you bring this thing to your next party, you will be The Grand High PooBah of Awesome.
Though Bubba Dude would be happy with just the video games...

A big thank you to Lance and his crew for not only setting up the game trailer but also setting up some of their inflatable and carnival attractions.

Diva Princess spent quite a lot of time on this game.

There was also popcorn, cotton candy and soda! My kids had a lot of fun and I know all future birthday party planning will now include much begging for giving Lance a call.

Big inflatable slides never gets old.

Friday Fail: Once More with Feeling!

2010-01-15T15:45:00.000-08:00

A word of advice for anyone thinking of getting up on stage.
How you sound to yourself is NOT the same as how you sound to others.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Let's leave those high notes to Steve Perry, mmkay?

New Year,same old booze...I mean...yeah.

2010-01-08T13:16:00.000-08:00

I must face it.
I will never be one of those bloggers that updates major events right away. Or updates regularly for that matter...
Anyone who knows me at all knows this to be true.
My motto is definitely Why do today what you can put off until....whenever.
A week into the New Year and the tree has just now come down...and I still have a garland over the big window.

First pic of the new year. My parents with booze...surprisesurprisesurprise.

We were able to go and enjoy New Year's with most of my family in Ocean Shores. Well...when I say most I mean two out of my three brothers were there and Dad took my nephew Peanut with him and my brothers brought their girlfriends. Eight adults, three kids and three dogs. A houseful considering the size of the house!

This photo of Bubba Dude taken by my dad. With my camera of course. Mine, Dad. You can't have it!

Breakfast buffet at the clubhouse. I don't know why the Diva Princess is giving me that look. I have a camera at all times. She should be used to it by now...

Have I mentioned before how much I love going to Ocean Shores? It really is one of my most favorite places. I always try to get to the beach at least once when we go down...except this time. The weather was so nasty. Some of the family went digging for clams. What the deuce?! Yeah...I passed on that one. Though I did say I would snap photos...but they left when Paul and I went to go see Sherlock Holmes. I was a bit bummed on missing out on some shots of those nutjobs trying to find shellfish in a frickin' monsoon but I'll live. We arrived back just in time for me to welcome the kids back with showers and dry clothes.

Skeeter and the Peanut. One of the few times the little linebacker relinquished his DS to someone else. That kid has a problem...

I am one of those lucky people that enjoy being around their family. Endless source of entertainment...and alcohol. I did not take pictures of the spread on the bar because...well to be honest, it may look like an intervention is needed. We had the hard stuff on the bar, beer outside, Apple Pie (not the kind you eat) in the fridge and Mom and Dad busting out their top quality tequila for tasting.

Jared and Miss Ashlee. Oh and Shark Bait...I mean Boy. Twitchy ass dog...

I'm not saying my parents have a problem. I tease, I kid. It just makes me laugh and shake my head when they are bringing out these really expensive bottles of booze and extolling the finer points of taste and finish.

Who are these people and what have they done with my mommy and daddy?!

My mother playing Diva's Hello Kitty game on her DS. She called HK a bitch. I don't think that was called for...

Yeah, my dad let me take this picture. How can you not enjoy yourself with this guy around?

It was another weekend of fun and laughs that was over too soon. We spent alot of time away from home during the holidays this year. Paul is a homebody type of person so I got to give him love for agreeing to come along. It wouldn't have been the same without him.

Here, have another shot. It's okay.

My resolution for the new year? To spend more time with these awesome people.

Well, maybe not Shark Bait...I mean Boy.

Always the Bitter goes with the Sweet...

2009-12-29T16:52:00.000-08:00

Christmas snuck up on me this year. I know how it happened...I was powerless to prevent it. Thankfully, the essentials were accomplished. And I did manage to avoid last minute shopping.

Have you ever had to do that? It's like people lose all sense of decency and fair play. I mean, is it really necessary to plow through a parking lot at 40 miles per hour?! And what about driving around the holidays make people forget Basic Driver's Ed? Isn't one of the first things you learn is to look behind you when you are backing out of a parking spot? I lost count of how many times The Kiddos and I were nearly run down by ijits backing out of parking spots, at high speed I might add!

I digress...

Serious conversations with The Big Guy...

No snow storms this year. Thank the Weather Gods for that one. I did not want to deal with that again...

In fact, the weather was so nice I was able to go through with my plans to take The Kiddos' Annual Christmas Portraits myself. We went to a local park with a wonderfully open area. And, my Canon Rebel in hand, snapped away.

I can't believe I caught him in the midst of a real laugh.

I have never been more happy with studio portraits that I paid waaay too much for in the past. I am so happy with how they turned out.

This is Paul's favorite. It is just so...HER!

It was cold. When they weren't posing for me, they were bundled up in their jackets, hopping up and down to get warm. But come on! Just look at these pictures!

I will never again pay some overworked teenager to coax fake smiles and poses from my kids again!

I don't think I have ever seen pictures of my kids that were this good. And no. I'm not being biased.

This will probably be the last time I can convince Bubba Dude to go along with a pose like this...

Maybe a little...But can you blame me? I saved a crapload of money and the pictures turned out much better than we have ever paid for...

Evidence of my OCD...

I decorated very little. The trees went up only a few days before Christmas. Thankfully, I was on the ball with shopping. Gifts were purchased and all deliveries made with time to spare.

Paul cut it a bit short with his gifts...but then he actually purchased some gifts this year. Not sure that will work out for future Christmases. He just can't be trusted...

O, Christmas Tree...

Christmas Eve was spent at my parent's house. With my brother Bug and his family going elsewhere for Christmas Day, this was the only chance for all of us kids to be with Mom and Dad for awhile. It was a packed house. Gramma was there along with a couple of my aunts and their families. My cousin was in town from San Francisco and my cousins from my dad's side of the family came by. Lots.Of.People.

Best.Present.Ever. You're welcome, Little Brother.

That was a late night. Santa had to do without cookies and milk this year. Besides, Paul was eating them all...

She is the best present-opener. Her face is always so funny. Buster doesn't seem to care for that present though...

I had trouble sleeping. I can't tell you why...I just couldn't stay asleep. I like to blame Paul. It's convenient.

So, I was actually up before The Kiddos. But it was like an alarm went off in their room. Precisely at 7:15 am, they come running out into the living room to inspect the haul. And I made them wait until 8 am before waking their dad.

You want to torture a child? That is how you go about it.

But did I get a thank you for letting The Husband sleep in until it was light outside?

Hell no! The grouch stomped around like I was personally responsible for waking him at 4 in the morning! I love Paul but oh.my.gawd he can be a baby sometimes.

This will be used as evidence in our impending divorce proceedings. "Your Honor, I can't live with that woman anymore. She bought our son a Seahawks jersey. Irreconcilable differences."

After a quick nap, it was off to my Gramma's house for Christmas with my very large extended family. I can be honest and say that I wasn't sure how it was going to go. This was our first Christmas without Grampa. The last time I had been to the house was when I went to see my Gramma the day after he passed...

I've seen her a few times since the funeral. She seemed to be handling things okay...as well as anyone who has lost their loved one. She's been smiling, she's been sociable. But this was Christmas. When I got her first Christmas card with only her name...I cried.

I thought I was done crying.

O, bigger Christmas Tree...

Everyone was laughing at the house. Even Gramma. Everyone was smiling.

But his chair was gone.

He wasn't there, pocket knife at the ready to tackle those hard to open packages.

Presents were opened, jokes were made. I got my basket of homemade goodies from Gramma (her freezer jam is no joke and her snack mix...ohmygawd!). In the basket was a card. The first thing that jumped out at me was holycrapthereisalotofmoney! I mean, whoa. And then the message, written by my Gramma.

More tears.

And I wasn't the only one.

It's still hard to see my mother, my aunts and my grandmother cry. These are strong women. Women I can only hope to emulate a little.

How Gramma wrote all those messages, in all those cards...

I don't know what she wrote in everyone's card but mine. I don't know if I could read those.

I'm never getting rid of that card.

Grampa and Me.

Christmas is over. We all got through it. There were definitely more smiles than tears. More laughter than sadness.

But he's still gone.

I still miss him.

I still cry when I think of him.

But I think of him...and I hug my family tighter and longer. And I am more grateful than ever for them.

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas.

Now bring on New Year's...and booze.

And the award for Best Sport goes to...

2009-12-24T15:20:00.000-08:00

Buster The Dog.

I can't believe he let me do this...

Merry Christmas, Friends and Neighbors!

I surround myself with greatness

2009-12-17T08:51:00.000-08:00

My loyal readers.
You may have noticed a change around here.

Indulge me in more familial devotion.

My cousin. I have mentioned her before. She is a very talented artist who has blessed me with the beautiful header you see above.

Isn't it gorgeous?! That is supposed to be me...yeah, if only I had a body like that...one day. But it's still frackin' awesome!

Have I mentioned Devon is trying to get a small business off the ground?! She's not even 21 yet!

I am such a slacker...

And of course, I must thank my love Paul and his friend Jac for the background redesign and whatnot. There is still some tweaking to be done but I am already thrilled with how everything looks!

Wait...what?! It's almost Christmas?!

2009-12-13T20:21:00.000-08:00

Where the hell did the time go?! Seriously...my house isn't even decorated yet. I haven't even gotten the crates out of the garage.
I need another week at least.

I did get a jump start on purchasing gifts this year. I did not want to be in the same situation I was last year. With snowstorms preventing me from shopping until the last minute...no thanks.
In fact, how about no snow at all this year. Let's wait until after New Year's. I got stuff to do and places to be from now until then. So all of you sadists around here who are praying for snow, stopitrightnow!
No.

Last weekend, I did partake in the Annual Family Cookie Bake. I didn't snap as many pictures as last year...I was busy!

Yeah, you see that note right. Over 188 DOZEN. Why do we do this every year?
Why not?
And yes. That is me in the middle. The airhead who forgot her cookie apron! Even my sister-in-law who can be a bigger ditz than me remembered hers!
I suck.

Let's start off the holidays right!

2009-12-11T09:18:00.000-08:00

And that is making sure you know what I want!

I need to get this little meme out of the way, especially considering that I have been tagged by GreenSullivan and Blozulfog. But since I am way behind on this, I'm not going to tag anyone.

Mama’s Holiday Wish List Meme:

TodaysMama and Provo Craft are giving away a sleighful of gifts this holiday season and to enter I’m sharing this meme with you.

1. What 5 items are on your holiday wish list this year?

Picture frames of all shapes and sizes but they must be black.
A new desk with more storage
A cabinet for all of my scrapbooking stuff that has had to move upstairs...
Books (way too many to list...)
and for the love of Pete I would like my drain field to be magically fixed without draining my bank account!!

2. What is your favorite handmade gift you ever received?

I've got two.
One is way back in my childhood. I got a Cabbage Patch Doll that year and my gramma made me and my doll matching dresses. My dress was so gorgeous...I wish I was half as talented with a sewing machine as my gramma.
The other is from my best friend. She made a quilt with photo patches of me, Paul and the Bubba Dude when he was a baby. I still have that quilt!

3. What handmade gift have you always wanted to tackle?

I would love to make the kids' Christmas jammies. I know it's not all that hard. I just procrastinate....alot.

4. What was the best Christmas gift you ever received as a child?

It's gotta be the Cabbage Patch Doll. It was the year they were the "it" toy. I still can't believe my parents managed to snag one for me.

5. What items are on your kids wish list this year?

Video games (duh...have you met my son?!)
Cameras (don't think we are going to be able to swing that one this year...)
Toys (they are not going to be getting a whole lot of those. We have imposed a toy moritorium. I don't know how many members of my family will actually listen...)
Music lessons (sigh...I would love to hook them up with this but I just don't know...)

6. What is your favorite holiday food?

Pie!! And potatoes.

7. What will you be handcrafting for the holidays?

I still may tackle cards. I've done it one other time and I have all the supplies...or I'll put it off and run out at the last minute to grab a few boxes. Probably the latter.

8. What is your favorite holiday movie?

Hands down. Emmet Otter's Jug Band Christmas.

9. Favorite Holiday Song?

Oh you cannot ask me to pick just one! I should do a post about that...

10. Favorite Holiday past time?

It all centers around my family. Getting together with my mom, aunts, cousins and Gramma to bake cookies every year starts it off. Then watching my children get excited about picking out gifts for the family and the anticipation as they open their gifts. And just having family around. Because I have a great one!

Plausible Deniability

2009-11-05T16:16:00.000-08:00

I could tell you where I went today.
I could tell you who I was with.
I could tell you the projects I witnessed.

But then I would have to kill you...

There was that whole Halloween thing...

2009-11-04T10:02:00.000-08:00

This year's jack o'lantern brought to the masses by Diva Princess. She designed it and even helped with the scoopage. Of course, I did all the carving...bleh.

Zombies and angels.

This year I attempted to make my son a semi-convincing undead gamer...not too bad but he complained the.entire.time.I was putting on the makeup. Next year, he does it himself or he has to come up with a costume that does not require it.
My girlie girl was easy. Just let her put on a bit of shimmery eyeshadow and lipgloss and spray her down with a crap load of glitter and she was good to go. The glitter spraying got out of hand around here. Since my costume also required the sparkly stuff (duh) and it was raining during dressing time, our living room is looking fab.u.lous!

I swear we did not plan this...

So, The Kiddos and I arrive at our family Halloween shindig and the first person I notice is my mother...dressed as a devil! Holy crap. We have talked more than a few times over the phone leading up to this day and we never discussed our costumes! Not once! That was way too funny...and creepy.

It's like my mom is psychic...

Pirates, clone troopers, the main characters from Twilight, and golfers.

Unfortunately, my brother Bug wasn't there (pesky employment). My family was great in letting me set up a makeshift backdrop (thanks Reesie for letting me borrow your comforter!) and snap pictures. They all turned out pretty great. I would share them all but not everyone gave me their okay to post their pics. I'm trying to be more considerate...except for my immediate family.
Sorry. You just have to deal...haha!

Angelic, no? Yeah, I didn't think so either...

No Paul, you ask? No Devoted Husband, you inquire? Mouth agape in wonder?
Yeah, no. My Beloved does not do the dressing up thing. I did talk him into it one year...he wore all black and a mask. He got a ration of crap for his lame attempt (and it was kinda lame) and has not participated since. The next closest he got was a t-shirt I found that said "This is my Halloween costume". Whatever. I did suggest he could carry around a plunger and some toilet paper and be The Party Pooper...

Our family get-together was the first since losing Grampa. While we all smiled and joked a bit, there was definitely a change. Gramma smiled for her picture (no costume) but she was quieter. And no one even suggested a game of cards...just too soon.

Now Halloween is over. I still have a living room that sparkles and a crap load of candy I am trying (unsuccessfully) to stay away from. Do food banks take candy?

Scary times bad

2009-10-31T09:13:00.001-07:00

The timing for this was just weird. Giving the family a scare right before Halloween?

Not funny, Dad.
I am very glad you are okay but seriously, no more scares.

And Now for Family Pride!

2009-10-30T16:02:00.001-07:00

Hello?
Is this thing on?
Are you still out there, Devoted Readers?

*crickets chirping*
*silence...*

Well, I'm gonna continue anyway. I may be talking (or typing if you prefer) to myself...

I believe I have mentioned before how talented my baby brother (also known as CB) is. Talent runs in my family...at least in my brothers...
The second of my younger brothers Justin, known to his fans as Skeeter, is also wicked talented.

He puts together awesome slideshows, he's funny and he is the only one in my family I trust to touch my camera. Skeeter has been involved with some pretty awesome projects through a friend of his from college. Short films, commercials, music videos, film festivals...I should get some of those things on here!
Most recently, he was part of the crew for an award winning entry into the Windows 7 72 Hour Film Festival. Every team had only 72 hours to put together their entry with a few requirements. Skeeter and the studio he works with have done these types of film festivals before and I just love what they come up with. And this time, YouTube has kindly provided the world with the video for all to see!

Thanks to Sterner Studios for the continued entertainment! And for your inspired choice in the actor who played Bill Gates!
And a big thank you to Skeeter for letting me gush like the sappy big sister I am.

Illnesses and Eight Year Olds

2009-10-14T10:00:00.000-07:00

I know this is way overdue but since I have not been well for over a week...

Parents say this all the time of their kids. "I just can't believe how fast the years have gone!"
Doesn't mean it's any less true.
I still vividly remember being pregnant with my daughter. Once again, Paul knew I was pregnant before I did. I should just defer all future diagnoses (is that how you spell/say that?) to him.
I remember how excited I was to find out I was having a girl. Growing up with no sisters, I was rabid for a daughter. And I wasn't the only one. I can't speak for others in my family but considering all of the stuff I got for the new baby once she was born...and all very frilly and pink.

My Diva Princess is my humbler. My mom has always said that everyone will have one child that makes them question their decision to become a parent...and whether they truly want any more children. I love my daughter but she can definitely be a handful.

She has made life so interesting. I'll take the arguments and the drama. Things are never boring with her around. She is so passionate about everything, whether it's sports or Barbies. She is incredible outgoing and smart. Sometimes I wonder who her real mom is because I'm pretty sure it's not me.

For example, her recent birthday party. Every other year, we let the kids pick a place to invite some of their friends to celebrate their birthday. They can pretty much choose wherever they want. I was thinking we would be having a party at her gym or at the pool...but she chose roller skating. She's only been roller skating one other time...and she doesn't know how to skate very well...I kept saying she could go other places, do other things that she was more familiar with. But she wanted to have it at the roller rink. Never mind that she can't skate very well. That didn't even enter her mind as a deterrent. And it certainly didn't slow her down come party time. She was fearless. And it was awesome.

Did I skate? Hell to the NO! Putting all this bulk onto eight tiny wheels?! What do I look like, a sadist? Besides, I had pictures to take. And there was no way I was going to risk breaking both my camera and my ass. Combine that with the cold that was starting to creep into my head...the one that I am still fighting along with possible ear problems. Why does the pain come and go? Yesterday, I was fine. Today, it hurts again. Do I have an infection or not?! I have plans that do not include being housebound for another week!!

Happy Anniversary Monty Python!

2009-10-05T16:22:00.000-07:00

Anyone who knows me even a little knows I love Monty Python. Loooooove them! And it was 40 years ago today that the world was first blessed with their presence.

And I have just learned that there is another stage show in production. I loved Spamalot and this looks like it is going to be hilarious!

Oh please oh please oh please let this come to Seattle! Because Heidleberg and I will be there, dead parrots in hand.

Summer 09 Retrospective Part Two

2009-09-24T15:16:00.000-07:00

The sun is still shining, it's still warm and it still doesn't feel like Fall at all. So more summer recap!

The oldest of my younger brothers, Bug, turned the big 3-0 this summer. And yes, that is a package of Pull-ups in that picture. That was my present to him (along with a DVD that he wanted) because he is a Big Boy now! Someone baked him a boob cake...I have spared you that picture...But it was a great celebration. It is a rare occasion when all of my brothers and I are able to hang out. Even my pseudo-bro was there! There is a reason he is known as my pseudo-bro but I will go into that another time...

Of course, there was more swimming. Skeeter invited us to his place for an afternoon. I have spared you a picture of me in the pool.
You are most welcome.

We enjoyed more diner food. The Kiddos have a new favorite pose when I break out my camera. You'd think with all the food they love to shove in their faces, they would have gained some weight. No, they just grew an inch or five. They are both still skinny as hell. I'm pretty sure that people who see my children and then see me think I steal all of their food.

My birthday was at the end of the summer. If we had more time and money, the weekend would have been spectacular! But we just went to The Folks' Beach House and cooked good food. Shish-kebobs and fondue. Oh wow that was good.

Then there was PAX, the Penny Arcade Expo. This takes place every year during Labor Day Weekend. This is the weekend that I like to go camping for the last time in the summer. This year, Paul really wanted to go to this convention. I thought it might be okay. I mean, I like video games. I consider myself a bit of a geek.
Nope. I'm not at the level of those people who attend those things. Granted, I wasn't in the best frame of mind to try to fully enjoy what was there...but even looking back, PAX is just not my cup of tea. I just don't care enough about gaming to want to pay to go to a huge convention center and smell b.o. for an entire day. But I did have a brush with fame...

I would have taken a better picture of Mr. Wil Wheaton but someone took my camera and didn't even take a bunch of pictures of the panel that he went to or of lots of crazy geeks in costumes.
And I did score an awesome gift for my baby bro, CB. He is a big fan of Jonathan Coulton, who was performing and signing autographs. So, I got into the line for Jonathan Coulton's table (which was right next to Wil Wheaton's table, hence the picture) and scored an awesome poster with an autograph for my baby brother. And Jonathan Coulton was really cool and made it personal for CB. Definitely worth the 5 bucks.
But I'm pretty sure that I will not be attending future PAXs. Paul had a decent time and wouldn't mind going again but he needs to go with Bubba Dude. I got a constant stream of questions from my son about what I saw and what I did. He was disappointed in my lack of enthusiasm for the experience and the fact that I did not demo any of the games. So, if Paul decides to go next year, he can take The Boy.

And that was Summer 09.

Summer 09 Retrospective Part One

2009-09-23T10:32:00.000-07:00

Fall?! Maybe fall has started where you live and it might say so on the calendar but us PNWers are enjoying a rare treat. Warm, sunny weather. Summer weather.
Yeah, a bit weird.
But it gives me the perfect opportunity to recap some of the highlights of our summer.

Swimming, swimming and swimming. My kids are still drying out. And Bubba Dude wants to join the swim team! We had an short road trip down to Oregon to celebrate my youngest niece's first birthday and made it down to Ocean Shores for my birthday.
There was alot of this:

Keeping the kids exhausted with swim lessons really cut down on the arguments. And of course they can't resist hamming it up when I bust out my camera..which is alot.
And of course, I had copious amounts of this:

*shudder* Caffeinated goodness. So wonderful...
I will, of course, have a few (just a few...) more photos to share, including some I managed to take at Nerd-vana...I mean the Penny Arcade Expo.

In other news...

2009-09-21T15:22:00.000-07:00

I know I am woefully behind in posts. Obviously, a lot has been going on.
One of the major changes around here has been the new school year. The Kiddos started a couple of weeks ago. It's been a mixed bag of emotions for me this year. I am very relieved and happy that they are back in school. Arguments are showing a downward trend. But I am also a bit sad.
This is a landmark year for Bubba Dude.

He is now a 5th grader. His last year of elementary school. I can't believe how fast the years have gone by. He is one awesome kid and I know I'm not the only one who thinks that!
This year he is very excited about school. Not only because he has always loved school, he is now a celebrity of sorts.

Bubba Dude was "hired" at the end of the last school year to be part of the morning announcement team! Along with three other 5th graders, he welcomes the school every morning with the flag salute, weather reports, lunch offerings and other school news. I was super stoked for him, especially since I didn't think he would be chosen. A kid in speech therapy for stuttering doesn't exactly scream "Perfect Morning Announcer". I knew he could do it (he doesn't stutter when he reads aloud) but there was an interview and his stuttering can pop up when he is put on the spot. Guess it wasn't a problem! Just more proof as to how awesome he is!

The Diva Princess is now a 3rd grader.

And right now all of her focus is on her upcoming birthday. Paul and I let the kids have a birthday party at a location of their choice every other year. So you can imagine the headaches she has been giving herself (and me) in narrowing down where she wants her party. Now she just needs to decide who she will invite...Her party will be sometime next winter.

I am excited for them this school year. I am very fortunate that both of my kids not only love going to school but also do very well in all of their subjects. I am not so fortunate in that they do so well and are so smart that very soon, I will not be able to help with their homework. Their intelligence shall surpass my own. I await that dark day with dread.
I should probably go back to school too.

It still hurts...

2009-09-20T15:43:00.000-07:00

I did not think that getting this post out would be so hard.

Searching for the perfect photos to share (thanks again Skeeter) was hard.

Seeing his face in all of these pictures...realizing that from now on, this is the only way I can see him.

How do you put into words the pain and sadness that are still so raw sometimes...
How do I pay tribute to a man I have known my whole life?
How do I share all of the times I spent watching him play cards and laughing hysterically at his swearing? There are too many.
How do I share the way he would say hello to me, always the same way, always sounding like he was happy to see me?
How can we go camping and build a fire and not miss him there, building it up just so, never afraid to stick his hands right in there to get everything just right?
I don't know...

I do know that I was blessed. I had my Grampa around for 32 years. I had the honor of being his first grandchild. I had the honor of giving him his first great-grandchild. And then, his first great-granddaughter. My children will have memories of Great-Grampa. They will grow fainter as they get older but they will still be there.

I'll go down the aisle in the grocery store that sells canned sardines and think of him.
Yeah, they were a favorite of his. I was never able to understand why he liked them so much...
I'll look at toothpicks and remember how he always had one in his mouth, just hanging sometimes.
I'll look at John Deere tractors and think of him.
I'll play a game of cards and curse a blue streak, just like him.
Yeah, that's where I got it.

Some people have not understood.
Just because he was 77, it should not hurt still.
Just because he was my grampa and being an adult now, I should understand the way of things.
All that is true.

But I still hurt.
I still cry.
I still miss him.
I still love him.
I still do not want to say good-bye.

Of Geeks and Grampa

2009-09-07T11:12:00.000-07:00

Normally, one would have nothing to do with the other. But this past weekend, they collided.

And I have been struggling to cope...

Saturday morning, Paul and I woke up early to head to the Penny Arcade Expo in Downtown Seattle. It is an annual gaming convention. I guess it's a pretty big deal. Lots of gaming companies were going to be there. Panels, demos, swag. Paul was all keen to give the new WoW expansion a try. I wasn't all that excited but I told Paul I would go with him. They give out free stuff, right?

As we are about to get on the ferry, I get a call from my mom. It was pretty early and they were camping with my kids, so I immediately knew something was wrong. Trying to suppress my panic flutter, I say hello.

She responds very quietly.

Is everything okay?

No...but the kids are fine. No need to worry.

Then what's wrong?

Grampa George died this morning....

Needless to say, I didn't have the best day. Our tickets were already paid for, we were already on our way there. Mom said for us to continue with our day. I was a zombie. I broke into tears throughout the day. I can't imagine how I must have looked to passerby...big blonde wearing a cowboy hat with a big bag of swag crying into her iPhone.

I ended breaking the news to my baby brother...Mom had been unable to reach him earlier in the morning.

I inadvertently broke the news to my cousin while she was camping.

I called my best friend and told her.

I tried to smile for Paul and told him that I was doing okay.

I wasn't.

Getting autographs from Jonathan Coulton and snapping a pic of Wil Wheaton only brought a brief grin which was soon gone.

Thank goodness Paul was done after the Star Wars panel.

My brother Skeeter was kind enough to take the kids for the night while Mom went to be with my grandmother. I had to make the drive to Kent the next day in the pouring rain. The weather matched my mood.

I cried the entire way.

I cried some more when my brother and my kids hugged me.

I cried even harder when I went to see my gramma. She cried too. My entire life I've only seen her cry two other times. And one of those times were tears of happiness.

Not this day.

I cried seeing my aunts and my mom. My daughter cried.

I'm crying now...just trying to get this out.

I'm sure Paul will do a PAX post. He enjoyed himself more and he participated in more. I'll link it when he does. I have few pics to share...but not now.

I will do a post on my grampa. He deserves his own post. I already had one ready. He had just celebrated his 77th birthday in July. I will have to change that a bit...

His funeral is on Thursday and the kids' have their first day of school on Wednesday. This week is going to be hard to get through...

Let's get on this, DC!

2009-08-17T07:40:00.000-07:00

I think a full version of this story is in order for the big screen...

Movie Review Time: Knowing really is half the battle

2009-08-11T15:46:00.000-07:00

The summer movie season is winding down. This is really the last "blockbuster" type movie being released this summer...unless you are going to count District 9. But I don't think that is considered a "blockbuster". We'll see...

Let me start off by giving a plug to our new local theatre here in Kingston, The Firehouse Theatre. It is really awesome to have a movie theatre here in town, even if it is only two screens...and one of them is so small that I just don't see going to pay for movies playing on that one. But nevertheless, I want to put as much support behind this theatre as I can. If you are in this area and are looking to go see a movie, give this place a chance.

G.I. Joe

I was scared to death to see this movie.

Why? I was sooo afraid it was going to suck. Transformers 2 left a bit of a bad taste in my mouth...and I had been reading all sorts of horrible rumors about conflicts between the director and the studio and it made me nauseous. I grew up watching G.I. Joe with Bug. He owned tons of the action figures, we still laugh about the animated movie. G.I. Joe has a special place in my heart. Did I really want to see a live-action movie totally crap all over those memories?

I finally agreed to see it after hearing a few positive reviews. Paramount decided not to screen the movie ahead of time to critics. I had heard that this was due to the amount of bad reviews that Transformers 2 received...but that movie ended up bringing in a crapload of money. Not really sure what their reasoning was behind that...

Honestly, what made me really want to go and see it was watching Ray Park do an interview on AOTS. I love Ray Park. Ever since I saw him play Darth Maul in Star Wars: The Phantom Menace...come on! The dude is a bad ass! And he's going to play Snake Eyes?! The ninja Joe?!

Was I disappointed?

No. I enjoyed this movie. The plot line was hokey but hey. I wasn't looking for an Oscar-worthy story here. I just wanted something that was entertaining. And it was.

The story line is right out of one of the cartoons. Bad-guy-mogul has technology that he wants to use to destroy the world and rebuild his own Utopia. And only G.I. Joe can stop him! Cue dramatic music, chase scenes and explosions. And don't forget some slow-motion hero shots...

A few of my minor issues: Cobra Commander. He was hardly in the movie! And there was this big secret about what the re-imagined Cobra Commander would look like. Everyone is familiar with the smooth silver face plate. Well...it's not that. It's some kind of bumpy thing...I didn't care for it. And Destro?! I liked how his character came into being but the mask...the effects for it were kinda weak.

What did I like? The chase through Paris was pretty cool. Ray Park...he kicks so much ass. Half the movie could have been just him fighting Storm Shadow and it would have been awesome. And I know some of the fanboys have a problem with the location of the enemy base...but come on! It's G.I. frickin- Joe! An underwater fortress beneath the polar ice caps?! Of course! Boo-yah!

Should you see this in theatres?

Sure but only matinee. And if you've got the time and money to burn. Don't get me wrong...I did enjoy it and I will probably pick it up on DVD...but it's nothing spectacular.

Want another review? Check out what Paul had to say. He goes into more detail...and uses bigger words.

The Ballad of GI Joe

2009-08-10T11:36:00.000-07:00

Yes. I've been absent.

No. I'm not going to go into it right now.

I have had GI Joe on the brain. I went to go see the new movie with the fam on Friday (stay tuned for my review) and it seems like I'm being saturated with Joe.

The Ballad of G.I. Joe from Henry Rollins

And this one is not good for the kids, but it cracks me up.

Go see my buddy Jenny for more MMLM goodness.

Friday Fail: The Creepiest Thing I've Ever Seen

2009-07-31T21:31:00.000-07:00

I've seen some nasty things since discovering the internet. This is definitely in my top ten of creepy...

You're kidding me with this, right? "A new and exciting way to memorialize your loved one"

WTF?!

So when I shuffle off this mortal coil, my loved ones should cremate my body and place my ashes into an urn that looks like my head?!!

Just to let you know right here and now, that is a big N-O. And I will extend the same courtesy to my loved ones.

ew. ew. ew.

Friday Fail: Use the Buddy System

2009-07-24T14:19:00.000-07:00

I don't know what the weather is doing around you but it has been hot here. And we Pacific Northwesterners are not accustomed to so much...well sun! Even for summer it has been a dry, hot one so far.

For those of us who are of the fair-hair fair-skin persuasion, sunblock is crucial. Just be sure that when you are trying to get those hard to reach places, don't be afraid to ask for help.

see more Fail Blog

I'd rather have my whole back sunburned!

Nirvana gets RickRolled and Please Vader, Don't Hurt 'Em!

2009-07-19T21:37:00.001-07:00

Thank you interwebz. How did I ever survive before such gems as these came into my life?

If at least one of these videos doesn't make you giggle at the very least...

Your soul is black. And you have my pity.

Rickrolled!!

Movie Review Time: Win and Fail

2009-07-16T17:46:00.000-07:00

Summer has started up so bring on the blockbusters!!

First big one was Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen.

Now, know this, loyal readers. I liked the first Transformers movie. Really liked it. I know alot of people didn't (one of them being my husband) but I enjoyed it. I liked everything about it. My geeky heart went pitter-patter when Optimus Prime spoke his first line and it was the deep voice of Peter Cullen, just like from my childhood. And yes, it wasn't just My Little Pony and She-ra for me. I also enjoyed Transformers and GI Joe...at least on TV.

So I was anticipating this sequel...and came away a bit disappointed.

Biggest complaint? All the shots of Megan Fox!! Yes, Michael Bay, we get it. She is a very attractive woman. But do I really need to see a shot of her ass? Sitting, by the way, totally ridiculous on a motorcycle she is detailing?! Am I supposed to believe that is the best way to position yourself when you are airbrushing the fuel tank of a motorcycle?! Give me a f*&^in' break! And I'm sure that all of the slow motion shots of her running could have been cut out of the film completely and the movie would have been fine. Michael Bay has a serious hard-on for Megan Fox and if the dude is married, then his wife should be worried.

Something else that bugged me was the new Autobots that showed up. The RC twins in particular were just....wrong. Yeah, they made me giggle and they kicked some ass. But really? A gold tooth? Ghetto speak? Because on their home planet, there was a "hood" and that's where these robots hail from. Jazz from the first movie bugged me with his opening speech. These guys were worse. I know that the whole thing with them is that they learned things through radio and the internet. I don't care. It was dumb.

And another thing, Michael Bay! What is with the humping in that movie?!! We see Mojo the Chihuahua doing it to another dog a few times (where did this other dog come from by the way?) but then we see a mini-Decepticon humping Megan Fox's leg later on!! What is wrong with you? That was not cute! It wasn't even funny!

All that aside, I did like the movie. Not as much as the first but it was enjoyable. Paul, on the other hand, absolutely hated the first movie. But he liked this one! I just don't get that...but then he is a man. Maybe all of the slow motion, bouncing ass shots of Megan Fox did it for him...whatever.

Bottom line, should you see this movie?

If you can wait for DVD, do so. I did like it but paying for the whole family to see it in the theatre? Nope. It would have been cheaper to just buy it on DVD when it comes out.

Next movie we went to see was Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince.

Now this! Oh my. I have been waiting for this movie for a looong time. When they pushed the release date from last November....oh man I was pissed! Was it worth the wait? I don't know about that but it was still a great movie!

I have liked all the Harry Potter movies. I also like the books. Yes they may be geared toward a younger audience but whatever. I still read them and liked them. If that makes me juvenile, so be it.

This movie stuck pretty close to the book. Which is pretty amazing since this was a big story. And Tom Felton as Draco Malfoy did a great job. His character has a much more pivotal role in the story compared to the previous ones. He really stepped up. But then again, so did everyone! Alan Rickman...I just love him. He has made the best Severus Snape and to be able to see more of him in this movie was so fantastic.

There was a lot more romance in this movie...but then again it's that way in the book. It works. The characters are just at that age when the opposite sex is on your mind a whole lot more. I felt it didn't consume the movie. It was just in there more than the others.

Bottom line, should you see this movie?

Yes. Should you take any little ones to it? Use your own discretion. My kids loved it but they are older. There are a few scary scenes with the Inferi (zombies) and the tragic climax might upset some of the little ones (I knew it was coming and I still teared up a bit. Shut up Paul.) Is there enough excitement to keep little ones entertained? Not in the way of big action. The allure of this movie is more in the story. There is some action (the Quidditch game looks fantastic!) but it's not non-stop like Goblet of Fire seemed to be.

David Yates has really done great things with the Harry Potter world. I have really enjoyed the movies he has directed. I can't wait for numbers six and seven!

So...about that July 4th weekend...

2009-07-14T18:16:00.000-07:00

Can I just say fan-freakin-tastic?!

I wasn't sure how it would end up because...well my parents' little house down in Ocean Shores...it's little. Two bedrooms, one and one-third bath (seriously...just a toilet. My dad calls it a water closet. Pretty sure that is accurate.) There is a family room but half of that is taken up by the bar.

Yup. That's how we roll...Didn't get a pic of that though...must have been drinking too much.

Anyway, my parents being the uber-friendly and hospitable people that they are,

invited more than the recommended number of people for such a small house. There was the two of them, Paul and I with The Kiddos, first brother Bug with his wife and son Peanut, second brother Skeeter with his girlfriend (she doesn't have a nickname yet. Gotta get on that one...) and baby brother with his girlfriend (she also needs a nickname...). Then there was my Grampa Strat (dad's dad). Then my best bud Heidleberg (don't forget that thick German accent when you say that name, 'kay!) and a lady from my mom's work along with her husband.

If you lost track, that was 17, yes 17 humans! And six dogs! Two of which (Bug's) are actually horses.

Somebody...I forget who...called us Gypsy City. There were three large tents set up in the back yard, a tent trailer and small motorhome on the side of the house, two large trucks, two small SUVs and three smaller cars. It's a good thing that everyone got along so well!!

The weather was so fantastic! Friday was hooooot!! And of course we didn't leave as early as I hoped...so we got stuck in suck-ass traffic in a truck with no AC. bleh. But we got to the house eventually...after stopping at the Aberdeen Wal*fart because I realized I forgot The Kiddos' air mattresses for their tent! Man I was so pissed at myself...

The plan for the day of The Fourth was to have my dad drive down to the beach, set up a shelter and reserve our spot for the evening. I felt bad...like we were just dumping that on him. The majority of us (as in all us younger adults...unfortunately Grampa had to bail back home to Elma thanks to a bad stomach flu) hung out at the house until around dinner time. Then, to avoid having everyone's car down there, Baby Brother Charlie Brown became the family shuttle, going back and forth with more gear and people. Good thing the house is so close to the beach...

It was cold and a bit windy on the shore but it was great.

Being with close friends and family, enjoying burgers and hot dogs, watching the little kids play in the sand...best time ever.

If you have never been down to Ocean Shores on The Fourth, I recommend you go at least once. There is no big show...at least none put on by the city. Everyone can just come down and set off whatever they have. They do have a few restrictions but unless you are a frickin' psycho pyro, they are not a big deal.

I attempted to capture just how many people were at the beach. It went on for miles!
I wish I was a better photographer. Once it got dark...oh man. So many fireworks were going off...it was starting to look like a war! The air became thick with sulfur. There was no pause. Every second was filled with lights and sound! Paul and Heidleberg started flashing back to Boot Camp. When it got too cold and too late, CB became the family shuttle again. Honestly, I do not know how he made it there and back so many times. There were so many people!

Well, like the scatter-brained dolt that I am, I forgot my tripod at home so I didn't get very many shots of the nighttime drama. But here is a few of what I did get along with random shots from the weekend:

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

Hope everyone else had a great holiday weekend!

It's back!!

2009-07-13T18:16:00.001-07:00

Thank you Jenny! Thank you for bringing back Make Me Laugh Monday!! It hasn't been gone that long but oh.

How I missed it....

Now for your viewing pleasure.

I'm sure many of you are familiar with the whole Jon and Kate thing. I'm not going to link to any news stories or rehash the background. Because you know about it even if you didn't watch the show (which I used to...long story). They have been plastered on magazines in every frickin' store aisle! I'm so tired of them.

But this was funny.

Match.com-Jon Gosselin - watch more funny videos

And this...

Kate Gosselin Match.com Profile Video - watch more funny videos

Go check out Jenny on the Spot for more MMLM fun!

Friday Fail: Shenaginans?

2009-07-10T12:24:00.000-07:00

Not sure what to make of this video. I caught this a little while back and....

Well it's either a FAIL for this psycho kid or a FAIL because it's complete bull...

Judge for yourself. And beware. In the midst of his "episode" he uses a hairbrush in an unsanitary manner...

On a personal note, my husband recently ended his longtime run with WoW. He may be struggling with withdrawals but if I ever catch him doing some nutso crap like that, I will grab the heaviest object in the house and beat him with it.

The Overdue Kick-Off to Summer

2009-07-08T19:36:00.000-07:00

Yikes. The Kiddos have been out of school for over three weeks and I am just now posting about it.

I suck.

To be fair...I have been busy...Oh hell. I know none of you will buy my crap excuses.

Let's just say I'm sorry and move on.

Yes.

So this was a banner year for my kids. They enjoyed practically every minute of school and I got hardly any notices of problems from their teachers.

Bubba Dude.

Highlights from his fourth grade year:

Second place in the Science Olympics.

Being chosen for the Annual Young Writer's Conference.

I should really post some of his stuff...

Turning the big 1-0!

Meeting his new partner in crime. ( Thank goodness The Universe provides! This kid lives just down the street!)

Diva Princess

Highlights from her second grade year:

Being chosen for a job at her school carrying the lunch bucket.

Getting signed up for the Advanced Reading program.

Advancing to Intermediate Level in Gymnastics!

And mastering the two wheeler.

No stopping her now!

Summer started with swim lessons right away (one session already done...BD moving up and DP almost making it. She'll get it next time.)

We've already had some outings, like when I took the kids to a diner near their pool so they could stuff their faces...a few road trips (down to Oregon to see family and to Ocean Shores) and just finished celebrating the Fourth of July (I'll have pictures from that in a later post).

I cannot believe how fast the year went by and how fast the new school year is already approaching! I will try to post more of our many adventures.

Thank you for sticking with me.

My Little Cousin...The Arteest!

2009-06-23T15:51:00.000-07:00

She's up and running!

Go check out her stuff!

Help out a starving artist!

Okay, she's not starving yet...

My favorite is the second one. Why? One, because I have met the real life person this was inspired by and it makes me giggle because she was pretty terrible and two, it is such a beautifully hideous portrait!

Bow down puny mortals and worship The Arteest!

Buy her work!

And if you tell her that you heard of her through me, then you will firmly cement my Favorite Cousin standing for all time.

I can't believe she is a blood relative!

2009-06-17T08:42:00.001-07:00

On Tuesday, I made the drive to Gig Harbor to have coffee with my cousin Devon.

Isn't she gorgeous? And she is wicked talented. Seriously. Go check out her stuff!

She just came back from going to art school down South. Now that she is back in the wonderful PNW, she is determined to get her art out to the masses! Designing decals for your ride! Maybe you will be lucky enough to have her create An Original Devon! She offered to do a few things for me...I don't know where to start! I love her stuff so much I can't make up my mind! She is in the process of getting her website up and running. When she does, you better believe I will be driving you all nuts with how much you neeeeed to go and buy something!!

Being that there is a big age gap between us, we never really connected in a big way growing up. And as all of my little cousins are getting older, it is just weird for me to see them as adults now. I was her baby-sitter! It makes me feel old...But she is one awesome lady! What I had anticipated as just a short visit turned into a whole afternoon of gabbing! I was almost late in getting back to town to pick up my kids!

Next time, maybe I'll borrow her car...because I covets it now...so purty.

It's even nicer on the inside....*sigh*

Just a little something...

2009-06-16T08:06:00.001-07:00

to brighten up your morning.

photo: Ryan Hawk, Woodland Park Zoo

John Cleese Is Watching You

2009-06-15T08:35:00.001-07:00

Friday Fail: Product Infomercial Fail!!

2009-06-12T11:35:00.000-07:00

Oh-my-lanta! I cannot believe this...

You cannot un-see that! And the images now racing around your brain as to exactly how one would use such a tool.
I think I threw up in my mouth a little...

Are you ready to deal with the pandemic?

2009-06-12T11:22:00.000-07:00

Thanks to my buddy Jenny, I am soo ready.

And not just "ready" but...

Uber-fashionably red-day!

Jenny has done this world a service. Designer Swine Flu masks!

Listen up people! She's here for you! Want proof? Check out her video!

Yesterday, I was able to receive my oneofakinduberfrackinawesomecomeandtryme Swine Flu Mask.

Now try to control your jealousy. First for my hat because you know you want one, next for my hair 'cause it's purple-riffic and then for the shiny mask.

I love Gooooooold!

Want a mask? Well too bad! Can't have one! Maybe if you contact my buddy Jenny she can cut you a deal. I'm sure her rates are reasonable...

Meanwhile, I am now safe. I may have glitter all over my chest but it just makes me look that much more special!

Friday Fail: Parental Advisory

2009-06-05T15:29:00.001-07:00

As in someone needs to advise this dumbass parent about his choice in apparel.

see more Fail Blog

Dude! You are with two little girls!! For the love of Pete!

Friday Fail: Just for moms!!

2009-05-29T07:57:00.000-07:00

Well, it can be for dads too, I guess.
My buddy Jenny has started up a new blog. For all you parents out there, you ever have one of those "Why in the hell did I think I could be a parent?" moments?
Let's face it, who hasn't? Head on over to Mom Fail and share your story. Or just read other stories and feel better about yourself.
In honor of Jenny's new venture, a special offering from one of my favorite fail sites.

see more Fail Blog
Whoopsie!

This camping trip was DIABOLICAL!!

2009-05-28T14:38:00.000-07:00

That title was strictly for the enjoyment of my little brother Skeeter and my best friend Heidelberg.

Freaks.

We go camping every year during Memorial Weekend. Now, by "we" I mean me and The Kiddos. Paul will have none of it...at least until that far off day when we have our own RV. I won't hold my breath. But some years back, he decided he would be okay with me taking the kids camping with my family. I'm not above sleeping in a tent, regardless of the weather! I'm hard-core like that! As long as my tent is not leaky and I have an air mattress...

I digress.

For many years, my mom's side of the family always got together to camp for this one weekend. Last year was the last. My grandparents decided that with their advanced age and limited income, it was time to sell their fifth wheel and retire from the camping lifestyle. As I held back my juvenile temper tantrum, my mother assured me that they (my parents) would still camp during Memorial Weekend and try to get as many family to go as possible. It turned out to be hardly anyone but at least I was going to get in my camping weekend!

So this year, Mom and Dad made reservations at a camping resort near Mt. St. Helens. Yup. Camping resort. As in this place not only had electrical, water and sewage hookups for RVers but there is a 9 hole golf course, clubhouse, indoor pool with hot tub and sauna. Whatever. I'm still sleeping in a tent on an air mattress...I'm camping!

Friday morning, the kids and I are off! Well, more like lunch time. Why in the hell would I start a new trend of being prepared ahead of time? Hellooo. I have a procrastination reputation to uphold! And I will also blame Paul. He did not have to work that day so he was home and took it upon himself to grill Bubba Dude and Diva Princess on why they want to go camping.

"So, what's so great about camping?"
"We get to be outside all the time."
"You can be outside all the time here..."
"um...We get to go swimming!"
"I can take you swimming here."
"umm...We get to hang out with our family."
"You just saw them a couple of weeks ago."
"We get to ride our bikes!"
"You can ride bikes here. Why do you have to leave me?"

What an ass. I ask him every year to come with us. One year he even agreed! And of course that was the year we had the wettest weekend ever and instead of having a nice big tent to ourselves (winkwink) the kids had to bunk with us because their tent developed a leak. Paul refuses to try again.

The drive was a long one. Having to stop for ice, then for lunch...and hitting holiday traffic. It turned into a nearly FIVE hour drive! Thank goodness Buster The Dog has (seemingly) grown out of his carsickness and The Kiddos had their DS's and I had my iPod. Because then that drive would have really sucked.

I do not remember a Memorial Weekend in years past that had weather that comes close to what we were enjoying this weekend. Are you kidding me?! So gorgeous. And just enough wind blowing that it never got too hot. The sunscreen never got put away!

One of the many high points of the weekend was that my best friend came the next morning. I don't see her nearly as often as I would like and it was like old times, having her around all weekend. One of the best things about my Heidelberg (of which there are many) is that she gets along with my family very well. My dad has his own special nickname for her. She has no problems just settling right in with everyone. It was so fantastic having her there.

I didn't take nearly enough pictures. There was drinking and jokes and laughter and golfing and drinking and good food and swimming and drinking and sunshine...Did I mention drinking? Now don't worry yourselves. Everyone was responsible...I'm not saying that one or two of us didn't get tipsy...but there were no hangovers (at least not big ones) and no one got sick. But the booze was out in force! Oh man it was fun.

Highlights? Besides the awesome weather and the great company, DP mastered her brand new two-wheeler! First time being without the training wheels. Once she got the hang of it, I barely saw her...she was gone. And BD went golfing. Well, not really. He tagged along with my dad and brother...but he helped out my dad with his short game. I caught a glimpse of him on the green once when I went for a walk. He was so excited. I think I heard my dad plotting with his buddy to buy a starter set of clubs for someone....Oh Lord.

Monday came around too soon. Back to school, back to sports, back to life. I hope we can camp again soon. hinthint, Paul. You don't have to go but it sure would be nicer if you did...

Goodbye!

2009-05-22T11:34:00.001-07:00

I'm off to the Great Outdoors for the weekend!! And it might actually stay nice all weekend!

Hope everyone has a great weekend! See you Monday!

Oh please, let this not suck!

2009-05-20T08:44:00.000-07:00

This is the new teaser trailer for Sherlock Holmes.

And it will be the only one I will watch until the movie comes out...

Ooooh yeah!

Toys from my youth...in a whole new light

2009-05-18T17:44:00.001-07:00

I don't have any links to share with you today. My buddy Jenny was busy giving away her one-of-a-kind Swine Flu masks.

Yup. She blinged out some masks and had a drawing for them. Have you seen her video?

Guess who won the awesome gold one?

That's right. ME!!

Jealous?

Yeah, I thought so.

Needless to say, finding out I was a winner brought a smile to my face.

Want to know what else did?

Watching this completely hilarious, totally inappropriate video from those freaks at Robot Chicken. Ohmigosh, what an awesome segway! teehehee.

Seriously though, this is not for little kids.

And this one stars my favorite childhood character. This video I dedicate to my friend Scout.

Hahaha! You are welcome.

Friday Fail: Shame on you Movie Industry!

2009-05-15T07:40:00.000-07:00

I used to love move trailers. Couldn't wait to see glimpses of films that were on my list of must-sees...is that even a word?

But lately, I have been pretty annoyed with trailers. They are giving waaaay too much away!

I'm okay with teasers. But can't we just leave it at that!!?

Case in point. The Wolverine movie. I was looking forward to seeing this. I love the XMen mythology and in this movie they were finally putting in Gambit!! Definitely my favorite mutant.

I saw the trailers and the shots that they were showing of Gambit were awesome!! I couldn't wait to see more of him in the movie. But when we did go and see the movie....I had already seen everything!! Thanks to the trailers, there was nothing new to see! Every cool scene with Gambit had been shown on a trailer! For other Gambit fans out there, save your money. Just hop online and watch the trailers...

After that, I now try to avoid watching any trailers but the teasers. Even for Star Trek, which we saw the next week and it was soooo awesome. But for all upcoming releases...no more trailers.

Thanks alot Movie Industry! Fail on you!

Who needs sunlight anyway?

2009-05-14T23:50:00.000-07:00

I did get some...thanks to the last few games of Little League, I actually got a bit too much.

I'm now at the peeling stage and it is not pretty.

So I guess it's a good thing that when summer officially hits, I will not be outside.

Because I will be in theatres...and watching TV.

I can't even remember all the bloody movies that are coming out in the next few months that I want to see...there are sooo many!!

And thanks alot TV! I thought new shows were supposed to end for the summer! But noooo! You gotta come up with new seasons for other shows...I thought I was done being sucked into shows!!

Oh well. It's not like I had a social life anyway...

So that's what I sound like...

2009-05-11T18:57:00.001-07:00

Happy Belated Mother's Day to all Moms!

This video is for all of us who have a child. No doubt, at one point during your mothering tenure, you have sounded like this, trying to get your child's attention...

Watch Obnoxious Groundhog and more funny videos on CollegeHumor

Moms=Obnoxious Groundhogs.

Does that mean we can get presents on Groundhog Day too?!!

For more laughs, go see my buddy Jenny for some MMLM goodness.

Friday Fail: Proof that someone else needs to cook around here...

2009-05-08T12:27:00.000-07:00

How hard is it to just put a pot of water on the stove and cook up some ramen?

For me, apparently, it is a home disaster waiting to happen.

Case in point, what is left of the knobs on my stove after I nearly burnt down my kitchen:

Who knew that a roll of paper towels left on a burner of a glass top stove would ignite like that?

I spent over an hour trying to clean up after the carnage and there is still ash in my kitchen. Thankfully it will be pretty easy and inexpensive to replace what melted.

For the safety of my family, I will now be excepting applications for a personal chef.

Pay will be crap but meals will be provided...by you of course. You will have an assistant in the form of Buster The Dog who is always ready to clean up anything you may drop on the floor or leave on the table unattended. I will be willing to do the dishes afterwards...as long as you don't use a ton because that just drives me nuts. And let's face it, you will be able to put this on your resume as community service.

Forget Transformers! Make this happen!!

2009-05-07T23:53:00.000-07:00

My day...not good.

Major brain fart damn near resulted in the fiery demise of my kitchen.

More on that in a future post...after I stop slapping my forehead repeatedly with my hand.

But this cheered me up.

Someone needs to make this happen. I would be first in line for this train wreck.
Gen-i-us.

I'm actually kinda glad my dog doesn't do this...

2009-05-04T11:03:00.000-07:00

Does anyone who is a pet owner not have a funny story involving their furry friend?

If you don't, get a new pet. Yours is broken.

My pooch, Buster The Dog.

I do not have enough documentation of all of the weird and funny things that he has done over the years.

This one is up there...he will perch on the arm of the couch like a cat. It's cute and touching to see him peering out the window for the kids but on the arm of the couch? That's just odd.

But not as odd as this:

Dancing Chihuahua - watch more funny videos

To me, this is just one more reason to not ever own one of those dogs...ever.

It's Make Me Laugh Monday! Go see who else is bringing the funny on my buddy Jenny's blog!

Friday Fail: There's nothing like family that understands you!

2009-05-01T07:50:00.000-07:00

I owe today's Friday Fail to my little cousin, WestCoastArtist.

Did you check out her blog? Isn't she so frickin' talented? I am utterly convinced that the world will soon be blessed with her work everywhere, whatever medium she chooses to pursue. I remember baby-sitting her and her younger brother and sister...Oh Lord I'm getting old.

Okay, enough bragging about her.

But seriously, go check out her stuff.

Anyway, she sent me these WTF gems earlier this week.

...in the downtown of Yekaterinburg. The car thief managed to break his hand through the car’s window but failed to get his hand back after.”. On the photo he is already speaking with Russian policeman.

She also sent me this but I don't know if you can call it a fail...it is pretty messed up though.

Thanks, Little Cousin! What's the count? 28, 27...we definitely need to meet up for some Starbucks when you come home!

Number 13 in your programs but Number One in your hearts!

2009-04-27T21:08:00.000-07:00

You will have to bear with me. After this evening's events, it is time for some major parental bragging.

The Bubba Dude. He has played Little League since he was 5. This year marked a big change. AAA Ball. Which means for the first time, kids are pitching. And you can strike out whether you swing or not...BD wasn't too sure he wanted to play again this year. He had an opportunity to go out for the local swim team. But baseball still beckoned.

"One more year, Mom. I wanna try AAA."

It has been a struggle. BD went from being the most consistent batter in AA to...well...not. His method that worked last year and the year before just does not translate to this level of baseball. But tonight, he got this first hit of the season. Ok, it was a bunt but you should have seen this bunt! It was beautiful! Right in front of the plate! And he legged it out to first base...SAFE! I screamed my damn head off! Which in hindsight was not such a good idea considering the state of my health but this was my boy! Getting his first hit!

Tonight's game will go down in Bubba Dude history. Without any prior practice, without any warning that he would be called upon...

He was asked to pitch.

WTF?!! I was not prepared! I had no camera (these pics are from a prior warm-up)! Of course even if I had my camera I wouldn't have been able to take pictures because I had to be a dumbass and volunteer to be scorekeeper again!!

Paul had just left the game early to take the Diva Princess home! This kind of event warrants invitations to extended family and friends!

We were not ready! And just imagine how BD felt...

His form...not good. His pitches...not the best.

But he hung in there. He pitched the whole inning. He did not cave under the pressure. He kept his head, focused and helped his team get through that inning. Regardless of how many batters he walked or how many runs came in...he stepped up. Without ever having thrown a pitch before tonight. He dealt with the pressure.

Bubba Dude is my son. He is so much like me...I feel sorry for the kid sometimes. I don't deal with pressure and stress well. I knew that something like this could send him into a crying fit (I sure as hell felt like crying and I was just watching!).

But he held it together. He kept his head in the game. And won some big time respect from everyone who watched him. Even parents from the other team, who overheard me state that it was his first time, said he did a good job for a kid who has never pitched before. His coaches were full of nothing but praise for the way he held in there the whole inning.

I am so proud of him. And so lucky that he is my son.

A true Song and Dance Man

2009-04-27T08:19:00.000-07:00

It is a known fact that setting any video to the theme music from Benny Hill (Yakety Sax) makes it funny...or funnier.

It's true. Go to youtube and type in Yakety Sax and see how much great stuff comes up.

You're welcome.

But this one made me laugh out loud. And that was a truly frightening sound this morning. An annoying cold has robbed me of my sultry voice and I am now left with the voice of a long-time smoker of filterless cigarettes. At least now I know what I would sound like if I hadn't quit...

If you are not familiar with FatBoy Slim's video for his song Weapon of Choice, it is by far my favorite video and I feel sorry for you that you have not seen it. Please see it now.

And now the same video...Yakety Sax style.

How can this not make you smile for the rest of the day?!!

For more laughs, go check out my buddy Jenny and other MMLM participants.

We interrupt your regularly scheduled Friday Fail...

2009-04-24T20:52:00.000-07:00

Look what I did!

Yup. That is purple...and permanent.

Paul thinks it's silly but I love it! And with a new haircut to go along with the new color, I feel fan-frickin-tastic!!

I know. You are jealous.

*A special thank you to my Diva Princess for snapping my photo! What a great job!*

Yes, the sun does shine here...

2009-04-22T09:06:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a banner spring day. Never mind that I had laundry to fold, dishes to do and a house to clean. The sun was shining, the weather was warm and I needed to socialize!

People seem to think that just because we get more rain than most places that the sun never shines here.

Well, it does. And I have the sunburn to prove it!

We Pacific Northwestern-ers take advantage of these days when we can. The rain is sure to return (like today...*sigh*).

*Note to self...must convince Paul that regular pedicures are a necessity...*

I must send a thank you to my buddy Jenny for the invite. If not for her, I would have probably just soaked up the sun while running errands....and that wouldn't have been as much fun.

Give this show a try!

2009-04-19T16:26:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite comedies on TV right now.
I just hope they don't cancel it...it seems like alot of shows I get into are canceled after the first season or two (Jericho...ugh that still pisses me off).

Want some more laughs? Well first check out this post from a few days ago. My husband never fails to make me laugh.
And of course! Go see my buddy Jenny's blog for more MMLM fun!

Friday Fail: Spongebob goes PG

2009-04-17T12:46:00.000-07:00

Have you seen the latest Burger King commercial for their 99 cent kids meals? So wrong...
This is the full version of the song on the ad.

Putting aside the fact that is it a Spongebob-centered rap song about butts...and the disturbing images of models with phone books shoved down the back of their pants...
That Burger King character is creepy on so many levels. I wish BK would stop using him.

Obligatory Easter photos

2009-04-16T17:22:00.000-07:00

You will see no pictures depicting Springtime goodness. You must go elsewhere...I live in the Pacific Northwest. Easter is hit or miss as far as the weather.

This year we had record rainfall. No matter where you went, it was pouring. So this Easter was an indoor affair at my grandparents' house. Originally planned for my parents' house near Seattle but that didn't work out...

No hunting for dyed eggs. No baskets of candy (at least not here...I did ignore my better judgement and provided my kids with some candy earlier in the day). It was just a day to enjoy family. In particular, the return of my cousin, home briefly from Iraq.

It sure was good to have him home safe. He has been in and out of Iraq for three or four years (maybe longer...I have lost track). There have been some close calls (way too close). He isn't able to come back home to often so when he does, the entire family does its best to get together. Sarge is due to go back to Iraq next month sometime...hopefully his new post will keep him safer.

Conversations with Paul

2009-04-16T09:58:00.000-07:00

It is stupid conversations like this that remind me why I love my husband so much. He makes me laugh. And he swears as much as me. Sometimes more...

Planning menus:

Paul: hmm, I'd like steak
Shana: You gonna cook it? Or we could go out to Outback one of those nights...we have a 25 dollar gift card...
Paul: this weekend is bad for that
Shana: Can't even go out to dinner huh?
Paul: we can, just not to fucking east bremerton
Shana: Too far...okay. Well if you cook the steak, I will buy it.
Paul: can you go to the butcher himself (not prepackaged) and ask for a NY strip?
Shana: ehhh! I hate doing that...
Paul: Or we could check out http://whiskeycreeksteakhouse.com/
Paul: expensive tho
Shana: So we can go out to Keyport but not E. Bremerton...
Paul: keyport is a hell of a lot closer
Shana: Uh no...
Paul: uh...yes
Paul: keyport...you know...on the way to silverdale?
Paul: like....closer than silverdale
Shana: Just the exit. but then you have to actually get off the freeway and drive...
Paul: for 2 miles
Paul: 2
Paul: like....way the fuck closer than east bremerton
Paul: w/e, we can stay in
Shana: I don't know about "way the fuck"...maybe by a few minutes. And wouldn't 25 bucks off of dinner be worth it?
Paul: a few minutes...let me draw you a map
Shana: Oh so now you are gonna get all smart-assedy on me. Fine, whiskysteakhouse is closer. But we would still be paying more...
Shana: No gift card for that place...
Shana: just saying
Paul: it isn't smart assey: The steak house in keyport is 11.8 miles from our house by car, outback is 16.8 miles. This is almost 70% difference.
Shana: Oh my God! 5 miles! And that is on freeway! You are just an Outback hater! Admit it!
Paul: What do you have against trying a new restaurant? You are a new place hater!
Paul: 70% further!
Shana: I am not against trying a new place. But I do have a problem with going to a new place that looks expensive and is only a measly 5 miles from a place we have a gift card for!!
Shana: !!!
Paul: 10 miles if you count both directions
Shana: Ho.Ly. Shit.
Paul: lol
Paul: Outback next weekend
Paul: regardless, I don't want to go all the way out to Bremerton, sit down to a nice meal, only to have it interrupted by work and cut short
Paul: don't want to go out to keyport either for that matter.
Shana: Then...why are we still talking about this...?
Paul: Because it is fun to mess with you
Paul: and outback is 70% further away
Shana: You are a sick and twisted man
Shana: Seek help

And discussing his need for frozen dairy:

Shana: Need anything from the store?
Paul: Ice cream.
Shana: you still have some here you know...
Paul: what kind?
Shana: orange/vanilla and I think one more thing of lemon
Paul: but I want cookie dough....
Shana: then I'm gonna need you to wait until next time
Paul: but.....I love you
Paul: and....you love me
Shana: that is true. and has nothing to do with cookie dough ice cream
Paul: if you loved me...REALLY loved me...
Shana: and if you really loved me, you would quit bugging me about enabling your ice cream addiction
Paul: I love you, you love me. I love ice cream. It's really simple. You don't have to get all jealous.
Shana: you have a problem. you need to address it
Paul: MY PROBLEM IS I DON'T HAVE COOKIE DOUGH ICE CREAM
Shana: no your problem is that you are text-shouting at me because I won't get you ice cream. that doesn't seem a little psycho to you?
Paul: moi?
Paul: psycho?
Paul: pfft
Shana: denial much?
Paul: I deny that I'm in denial. I deny that denial exists.
Paul: I deny da nile. THERE IS NO RIVER IN AFRICA
Shana: You can be cute and funny all you like, I'm still not getting your damn ice cream today
Paul: You are the meanest wife ever
Shana: guess so

Isn't he adorable?

Reality check!

2009-04-13T08:53:00.000-07:00

Once again, I have to give props to any celebrity that can make fun of themselves a little bit. Zac Efron hosted SNL this weekend and did a pretty good job. I think it was pretty brave of him to host when, so far, his claim to fame is starring in three musicals set in high school...movies made by Disney.

Thank you, as always, SNL!

Go and see my buddy Jenny's blog for more MMLM fun, whydoncha?!

Happy Easter...or whatever.

2009-04-12T12:09:00.000-07:00

Friday Fail: My folks really need to move...

2009-04-10T08:47:00.000-07:00

Dearest friends and neighbors, this Friday Fail has come to me courtesy of The Folks.

That's them. Ain't they cute?

I digress...

So I get an email this morning from my father. Apparently, at about 2 am this morning, they were roused from bed by some frantic knocking at their door. It was the police asking if a certain car belonged to them.

The Durango is theirs...apparently some idiot decided to ram his car into a nearby power pole, it somehow got turned around and hit the Durango and said driver bailed. No where to be found.

Notice the airbag deployed? I hope that asshat got one hell of a burn!

Not only did this "quality" citizen leave a strange car in my parents' front yard and damaged their vehicle, but they managed to knock out the power, killed the mailboxes and flattened the neighbor's fence.

Oh the carnage!! The whole bloody pole has to be replaced! And who knows when the power will come back on! And The Folks were supposed to host Easter celebrations this Sunday...

Mom, The Universe is speaking to you and Dad.

First, it was minor. Hobos taking dumps by your mailbox...you know, little things.

Then, The Break-In. That still creeps me out just thinking about it and I haven't lived in that house for over 13 years!

And now this.

Move.

Now.

Grab your yappy dogs and your booze and get the hell out of that neighborhood!

You know, the Kitsap area is quite nice....

Just saying.

PS. Thank you to The Folks for sending me the pics and letting me put their story on the interwebz. I love you and I'm very relieved you are okay. But seriously, move.

Star Trek:TNG in a whole new light...

2009-04-06T07:45:00.000-07:00

Are you a fan of Family Guy? I've been watching it off and on for a few years now. My brother is obsessed with it (seriously Skeeter, you have a problem). Recently actor Wil Wheaton (Wesley Crusher from Star Trek:TNG) hyped up on his blog an episode that featured the entire cast of ST:TNG as themselves.

Check out more MMLM fun on my buddy Jenny's blog!

Friday Fail: Bacon Fail (it's just wrong!)

2009-04-03T09:02:00.000-07:00

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Do I really need to go on about how sick and wrong this product is?!

And who doesn't love bacon....really.

2009-03-30T18:13:00.000-07:00

I don't know what to say.

I love this guy.

You should too.

Watch all of his stuff.

Go see my buddy Jenny for more MMLM fun!

Friday Fail: Reverend Snoop Dogg?

2009-03-27T15:10:00.000-07:00

This made me laugh out loud. Enjoy.

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Think about that when you go to church this Sunday! hahahahaha

What's next?! Pigs with wings?!

2009-03-23T15:15:00.000-07:00

Yup. Just waiting. It has been pretty cold lately. Didn't think it was this cold...

Isn't this one of the signs of an impending Apocalypse?

My husband has joined the Legion of Facebook Friends.

I don't think you even realize, my dear friends and neighbors, how deep my shock is.

And I thought it couldn't get any bigger than when he started Twittering last week. But seriously, Facebook?!

My husband is not social. In fact, at times he can be downright anti-social.

Hey, no one loves you more than me, babe. But come on! You hate this kind of stuff!

Now excuse me while I examine my butt for flying monkeys.

Pants Wetting Funny!

2009-03-23T07:37:00.000-07:00

Once again, I must thank one of my brothers for this one. I am very lucky to have family that can make me laugh. And my younger brothers love to introduce me to new stuff.

Thank you, Skeeter. I love That Guy With The Glasses and his Nostalgia Critic.

***Warning! Despite the cartoon, this is not kid-friendly fair. My favorite kind!!***

Be sure to head over to my buddy Jenny's site for more MMLM fun!!

Friday Fail: Lost in Translation

2009-03-20T21:35:00.000-07:00

I do not speak a different language. I took a few years of Spanish in high school but my Spanish vocabulary is limited to asking what your name is, telling you my name, asking where the bathroom is and singing "Happy Birthday".

So I have never really understood how translations can go so horribly wrong...and why it seems to be most prevalent in Japan.

Thanks to Olivia Munn for her running pictorial on all translation fails while she is in Japan. You should check out her site. And her show. She likes pie.

Beware of Watchmen Fanboys!

2009-03-16T08:08:00.001-07:00

A special thank you to my husband for sharing this with me over the weekend. It's universally funny but especially so for nerd-lovers.

Watchmen Tour with Malin Akerman from Malin Akerman

For more MMLM fun, go check out my buddy Jenny's blog!

Friday Fail (aka They call this sanitary?!)

2009-03-13T07:23:00.000-07:00

Of course, it's just for the men. Because women would think ahead...you nasties.

*Note to father and little brother. I don't care how much you might need this for your next tee time, I will NEVER buy this for you!*

The Artist Formerly Known as The Rock

2009-03-09T06:47:00.000-07:00

By now, we all know I love SNL. They have their good weeks and bad weeks but I still set my DVR to record it every Saturday night.
I don't envy the host. I think one of the hardest parts of a SNL hosting gig is the Opening Monologue. As someone who has done some work on the stage, monologues can be frightening. You are up there all alone, hoping...praying you do not screw up. Because if you do, you got no one to pass the buck to. And for SNL...you are live. On national TV. And your monologue sets the tone for the next hour and a half. So when I see a host pull off a great Opening Monologue, I just gotta share.

For more Make Me Laugh Monday entries, go visit my buddy Jenny's blog.

Movie Review Time Weekend Edition

2009-03-08T09:57:00.000-07:00

Finally back to the theatre! Not too many movies I just had to go see. But Watchmen was high on the list. I was not familiar with the original comic at all but I loved 300 so I figured with Zack Snyder at the helm, it was worth a look.

First off, it was great. It was a long movie (almost three hours in the theatre!) but it wasn't all the noticable. I was quite surprised what time it was when we got out.

The casting was excellent! Everyone was so awesome in their roles. Jeffrey Dean Morgan was a great Comedian and Malin Akerman kicked ass! I had only ever seen her in a comedy before (she was the snotty little sister to Katherine Heigl in 27 Dresses) but she can definitely pull of the ass-kickery necessary for an action movie. And Jackie Earle Haley as Rorschach? Holy crap! Freakiest dude in the flick!

The one thing that was a bit disturbing (yup, just one thing...one very noticable thing) was summed up to perfection by actor/comedian/nerd royalty Chris Hardwick on his blog The Nerdist:

"Caught in a quantam field experiment gone awry, Jon Osterman gained the ability to will himself an enormous dong and lost the required shame to cover it in public. The only thing I will tell you about Watchmen before you see it this weekend is that Dr. Manhattan’s penis is so present in the film, it should have gotten its own credit."

Truer words were never spoken. Considering the R-rating for this flick, I knew there was going to be nudity. If you've seen 300...

But this...Just right there.

Hey how are you! Big blue glowing manhood right here on the big screen! And not just a glimpse. Multiple times. Over and over.

When Silk Spectre shows her goodies, it was actually a relief! A break from the big blue glowing tallywhacker!!

If you are uncomfortable with full frontal nudity, then I'm sorry. You are going to have to pass on this movie. And I'm kinda sorry you might. It is really an awesome movie.

But keep your small children away! There were actually some young kids in the theatre with Paul and I...what is wrong with those people? I'm pretty lax about some stuff with my kids but I draw the line at my 7 year old (and yes, those kids looked about 7) watching an R-rated flick! Even if it is based on a comic! Not all comics are for kids you dumbasses.

Find a babysitter, go see Watchmen and try to ignore Dr. Manhattan's Lil' Manhattan.

Friday Fail: The Late Edition

2009-03-07T11:13:00.000-08:00

I will not even go into how crummy this week was with two very sick kids and now a sick husband.

Ugh.

Please enjoy this belated Fail.

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Haters.

Seriously, you've got to see this!

2009-03-04T12:03:00.001-08:00

Saturday night was a big deal for me. I got to go see my baby brother in his first lead role! I was so excited for him. And as if that alone wasn't cool enough, the play was hilarious and he kicked ass!!

The Clouds by Aristophanes. Yeah, it's old. Written about 450 BC. Doesn't sound like you'd split your sides right? Well, the director was a genius. He decided to give it a vaudeville twist. So my brother, playing the lead Strepsiades, looked like Groucho Marx.

Yes I'm biased. CB is my baby brother and I have gone to see almost every play he has been in since high school. But seriously, he did a wonderful job. And he was very brave. There is one scene where he gets stripped down to his skivies by a Harpo look alike. I couldn't believe it! I think it traumatized my bff Heidelberg.

Socrates looked alot like Chico...it was just so fun and silly. And the set was so awesome! Best one I've seen from them yet!

So if you don't have plans for tomorrow, Friday or Saturday evening, you should really go and see the HCC Drama Department's production of The Clouds. You will be glad you did!

A special thank you to baby brother CB for making me laugh...again! And a thank you to his girlfriend Miss Ashlee for sharing her backstage pictures. She did great too!

My kids would so play this game...

2009-03-02T13:10:00.001-08:00

Do you have a Wii yet? We were lucky enough to get one right after they came out...you know, when they were impossible to find. The Husband just got real lucky one day. Just walked into Fred Meyer and they still had a couple in stock. It was right before we drove down to California for Christmas so we took it with us. It was lots of fun playing Wii Sports and Excite Truck with the in-laws. We have slowly expanded our Wii library of games (Rock Band 2 is the new favorite) but I can only pray that they never have a game like this. I don't have room for all the new controllers!

I am definitely going to check out more videos by this group!
And for more Make Me Laugh Monday fun, go see my buddy Jenny!

Friday Fail (aka This could soooo be my dad!)

2009-02-27T08:07:00.000-08:00

Oh yes, friends and neighbors. I have one of those dads who just loves to embarass the crap out of you whenever he can. And it's only gotten worse as he has gotten older. So the second I saw this video, I knew I had to share.

Do you have a dad like that?
hahahahahahahaha

I may have joined but I'm still not drinking the punch!

2009-02-26T12:55:00.000-08:00

I have done the unthinkable. The truly unfathomable. If someone had told me just last week that I would be doing this, I would have said...

"Shaw! And maybe monkeys will dance the watutsi in my pants!"

Enjoy that visual by the way. You're welcome.

I have...(shudder) my very own...

World of Warcraft character!!

Yes, I have given in. I'm weak. I have no backbone.

I could no longer brush off my husband's endless pleas. He has been convinced from the very first day he started playing WoW (which was probably when God was a child, he's been playing that long...) that I would be into this game.

I like games. I do. But this whole MMO thing...where you play with others...I don't like people. Yeah, I said it. All of you who are under the misguided impression that I am a nice person...sorry I shattered your dillusion. I'm not really nice at all. I don't like dealing with people. People suck...mostly. Anyhoo...

I should probably relate just how my husband finally convinced me after all these years to give WoW a try. Monday. He is taking a personal day from work. So we are heading out to get our son his presents for his birthday. I don't know how WoW entered the conversation...maybe I was complaining about how much time Paul spends on it...I do that alot. Or maybe he just had to bring up the topic of me joining up so I could be his errand girl while he was at work...doesn't really matter. But my response was to once again make it known that I was not interested in this game!

"Why?" asks Paul with a little whine in his voice.

"Because! It's dumb!"

"How do you know?"

"Because I'm a frickin' genius!" Yeah that was a lame response.

But then it occured to me that I really didn't have specific reasons for not liking this game...I had never played it. Not once. I started asking questions about it...and realized I could log on for just a little bit. Just create a temporary account and give it an honest try.

"All right. I'll give it a try. But if I still hate it, you can never bother me about it again."

I swear, you should have seen Paul's face. It was like Christmas revisited, except he liked this present better.

So he spent these past few days installing the game on my iMac. And today, thanks to another blast of snow, he stayed home and got me set up with my own little WoW account.

Verdict?

Too early to say. I have never been a big computer-gamer (I prefer controllers and hand-helds) so sitting in my really uncomfortable desk chair and trying to figure out how to make my stupid human move where I want (my mouse sucks and I can't get the whole WASD thing working right with my left hand...) is something I'm not used to. My back hurts. My ass hurts.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Bruce Lee, patron of self-defense, pray for me!

Maybe the Jonas Brothers aren't so bad...

2009-02-23T08:18:00.000-08:00

I love when Alec Baldwin hosts SNL. He has absolutely wonderful comic timing.

The Jonas Brothers kinda bug me. Maybe it's because they are soooo over exposed. My kids love them. I just roll my eyes whenever they pop up again on the news or in the magazines. And I was kinda surprised when they were the musical act for the last SNL. But they did all right...

And of course, God Bless Adam Sanberg and his SNL Digital Shorts. They have become a new favorite. And his last one was with the Jonas Brothers...

Good times!
And for more good times, head over to see my buddy Jenny and check out other MMLM posts!!

Friday FAIL: Sports

2009-02-20T17:23:00.000-08:00

I knew there was a reason my son wasn't into soccer...

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It's all about self-preservation!

Is this all it will take to fix our economy?!!

2009-02-16T14:37:00.001-08:00

Poor speech?!! That's all? If everyone would just be more careful about their speech habits, we would not be in this mess.

Here is an informative video thanks to Mystery Science Theatre 3000.

Go see my buddy Jenny for more MMLM fun!

Friday FAIL: Celebrity Edition

2009-02-13T14:36:00.000-08:00

What a train wreck! Have you seen this yet?! This is just one of many videos of the highlights from the interview.

It's almost too horrible to watch...

What is wrong with him? He is such a good actor. And now it seems like all he wants to do is see how big of an ass he can make of himself. I sincerely hope the rumors are true and he is just pulling an Andy Kaufman-like prank.

Sorry Joaquin Phoenix. You FAIL big time.

Wedded Bliss (but not Wedding Bliss)

2009-02-12T17:41:00.000-08:00

While all of you may be crossing your fingers that your significant other will remember to get you a little something this Saturday (or maybe you are crossing your fingers that you won't forget to get your significant other a little something...) I will be chillin' (really chillin' as in frockin' cold) in Ocean Shores with my husband, our children and The Dog (he loves the beach). And oh yeah... Paul and I will be celebrating 11 years of marriage.

Where did the time go?!

We were so young...Not as young as my folks were when they got married but not too far off. I was just 19 when we met, he was 20. And things went so fast! We started dating in October, he proposed in February and we were married a year later!

Our wedding was....interesting. We didn't belong to any church so I thought it would be nice if we had our ceremony in the same church my parents were married in. Problem...this church is huge! And we were having a small wedding. Only fifty invitations were sent out. And as a package deal with this church, we had to use a wedding coordinator through them. I like this idea...until I met the woman at the rehearsal. She had absolutely no sense of humor. And if any of you know any member of my family at all...this was just not a good fit. She really rubbed my maid of honor the wrong way. After all this time, that woman is still referred to as "The Wedding Nazi".

The church also required that we meet with the pastor and go through some "counseling" before the wedding. Okay...no big deal. But because someone decided that Valentine's Day would be a good day to get married (and that someone was not me) the pastor that we met with, and had come to like, had plans that day. So we ended up being married by a pastor that was at Death's Door. Seriously, I wasn't sure that he was going to make it through the 30 minute (if that) ceremony! And what is the traditional phrase to close a wedding? "You may now kiss the bride." Right? Paul was looking forward to hearing that. And what did Pastor Methuselah say?

"The ceremony is now concluded."

What kinda lame crap is that?! Even after all these years, every time Paul and I start reminiscing, we get pissed all over again.

It rained on our wedding day. Now I don't believe all that crap about it being bad luck if it rains on your wedding day but the parking lot at the reception hall was basically a dirt lot...that turned to mud. And I was wearing white.

The reception itself was okay. It was absolutely hilarious seeing Paul, his best man and his two brothers doing the YMCA. Really funny. I wish somebody had taken a video of that.

My family sprang a surprise hotel reservation on us for our "night". And guess who forgot to grab their backpack with a change of clothes? Yup. Didn't realize it till the next day. And I was not even going to put that dress back on! My poor mom had to wake up at the crack of dark and drive all the way back to the church to get my clothes.

If given the choice, would I do my wedding differently?

You bet your azz!

Smaller church, younger pastor and I would have made damn sure I brought my change of clothes with me to the hotel!

But I definitely would not change the man I chose. He is my best friend. I love him.

Happy Anniversary Babe.

Not...clean....enough!!! AHHHHH!!!!

2009-02-09T08:10:00.000-08:00

First off...

Toodododooo!!!

100 posts! Yay me!

Okay, I'm done.

For this week's MMLM installment, I would like to introduce you to one of my favorite things.

Mystery Science Theatre 3000.

If you have never heard of MST3K...

Wow. How have you survived until know?!

It used to be a regular show on SciFi (I miss it so!) and there was also a movie released, which has become my son's new favorite movie. Seriously, he can watch that movie multiple times a day and laugh with the same intensity as the first time he saw it.

The basic premise is a dude and two robots are trapped by a mad scientist and forced to watch crap scifi movies in the hopes they will be driven insane. The only way to survive? Rip on the movies during the entire film.

There was also a series of shorts done. I just found these and was laughing my azz off!

It's funny how this is completely annoying in the theatre when others do it...

Be sure to check out my buddy Jenny and others participating in Make Me Laugh Monday!

Apathy...lazy...whatever. Thanks for caring.

2009-02-07T19:02:00.001-08:00

First off, thank you. Thank you to a few special readers who were happy to see me post on Friday after a few days of...well, nothing. I loved seeing your comments expressing your happiness that I was back among the bloggers. You know who you are and I thank you. It made me feel great.

So what's the deal?

Not sure.

I just know that I haven't been feeling like my perky blonde self. And it has been affecting everything. Not only has the blogging slipped but my house is a wreck and I don't look all that hot either (not that I have...ever but this past week has been really bad).

I could blame the economy. Everybody else is, so why can't I?

Nah, don't buy that.

PMS?

Maybe. The Red Baron is due anyday now.

oooo, you know you love that mental picture. hahaha

Whatever is causing my funk, I hope that it is on the outs. Today my husband let me sleep in reeeeeal late and I woke up feeling pretty damn good. Got some stuff done, took a shower, had some coffee...half my day got pissed away from sleeping in so late but it felt so good.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this weekend and the rest of the week finds me on the upside. Valentine's Day doth approacheth along with me and The Husband's anniversary!

Friday FAIL! Thanks SNL!

2009-02-06T07:51:00.000-08:00

This was from last week's SNL. icky.